How Do you Tell your Family or Friends that You're an Elfae without them Getting Upset?

"The point is you need to measure your revelations to their ability to accept and understand them. . . . . So understand the level of intellectual development and soulful evolution of your family and offer them what they can understand and accept."

     Unless you have a very cool family, which you may not if you are asking this question, you don't need to tell them. At least, not directly or in any depth about your spiritual path unless they indicate that they are truly interested in learning about it in a positive way, perhaps even for themselves. What you need to ask yours'elf is, why do you feel you need to tell them in the first place. Of course, the answer is probably that you wish them to accept you for who you are and you desire to be closer to them as people, to be a real family. 

     However, if they are not fae or elf or other, it is very unlikely they will understand what you reveal to them other than in ways already directed and enculturated by the society they live in and embrace. So with your first communications keep it light-hearted. Most likely if they were really cool parents or relatives, they would already know anyway. Perhaps not know the details, but they would know that you are 'other' of some sort. In fact, it is quite possible that they know anyway, even if they can't accept what you are. They may have merely put you in the "unusual' or 'weirdo' or 'crazy' category (unfortunately terms that some people use when they do not understand someone), and even sometimes 'exceptional' in a 'strange' but also 'highly intelligent' sort of way, but they don't want to know the details. They may even want to pretend it isn't true.

     The love and kindness that you have between you is the real bond that links you together. But, if you are determined to tell your family and friends you are elfae and feel some inner need to share with them those things they don't want to know and that they will ignore and hide from shortly after you have revealed yours'elf to them, then there are some ways to ease into the subject. Of course, if you are at a place where you feel compelled to confront them with this truth, you may not be the type to ease into things. It just may be the case that you wish the trauma, drama and the conflict such revelations sometimes produce — the yelling, the shocked reaction, the hurt, worried and saddened expressions. Why would someone do that? One might ask. Why would an elfae intentionally wish to evoke such reactions? Well, sometimes, people only feel free to leave behind the world of their upbringing when they have totally cut ties with it. By revealing one's elfae nature to one's family, an elfae or other is sometimes forcing them to accept or reject them, as is, and if they are rejected they can then proceed deeper into Elfin and Faerie without feeling any guilt about spiritually leaving their genetic family behind.

     Let's face it, there is often a great deal of psychological pressure that comes from being raised in a particular family with all its chosen or inherited beliefs, habits and prejudices. It is often hard to say goodbye to the gods of one's upbringing when one has been told over and over again that one will suffer in hell and be tortured forever for doing so. And this from one's very earliest stages of development. That is some deep dark magic to overcome and one has to be a brave elfae or other to take charge of one's own brain and consciousness and reject such gibberish (a grimlen language, we believe). It takes tremendous psychological and emotional courage to be an elfae in this world and bear all the rejection and ridicule that normal folk assume as a right to subject one to. They often place us in their minds in the position of being the 'town fool' whom they think they can belittle without consequence. That usually turns out to be a painful lesson for them.

     But, back to how to ease them into the truth of disclosing your elfae nature to your family, if you are willing and able to do so. Approach the matter playfully. Tell them the truth, right out. Say that you are an elf, or faerie or whatever and gauge their reaction. They will surely wonder if you are joking with them. That is nearly always the first reaction. They think you are pulling their leg. Tell them you are not and see how they react. If they are intelligent, they will ask you for more information. But more than likely they will just be puzzled. If their reaction seems like it might be negative, or that they can't handle this information, laugh and smile, as though you were joking, as though indeed you were pulling their leg. Surprise, April Fool's day in July.

     They may worry that you've joined a cult, and while the elves and fae and others are surely occult in a sense, and often study the occult, we are not a cult and you can reassure them quite honestly that you are not a member of a cult, nor is there any such cult that you know of, that it is instead simply something that interests and delights you.

     If they can't take the whole truth you can always tell them you are studying the ancient Fairy Faith of the Celtic peoples. Look appropriately studious and scholarly. Or you can tell them you really love Tolkien and you are into cosplay or role-playing. Of course, if your family is really nuts, that's the same as telling them you're a Satanist who sacrifices babies and eats them (we are not saying that Satanists do this, just that some folks believe that they do).

     The point is you need to measure your revelations to their ability to accept and understand them. There is no point in trying to teach advanced calculus to the majority of first graders (or to these elves), they just won't get it. So, understand the level of intellectual development and soulful evolution of your family and offer them what they can understand and accept. And if that is nothing at all, hide the truth from them. We elves have been doing that for millennia. 

Here is an excerpt from one of our newest Silver Elves books on the subject of telling others we are elfin: 

The Magical Realms of Elfin: Answers to Questions About Being an Elf and Following the Elven Path. 

Do you tell all people you meet that you are elves?

Sometimes. It really depends upon the person. Most folks in the world don’t know what to do with such a revelation. They don’t believe in elves and faeries and others in the first place so telling them we are elves is really, in most cases, a waste of time and merely opens us up to ridicule and scorn. Even those who believe in faeries as etheric or astral beings, don’t always accept that we are elves manifest in human bodies. They can accept the one idea of beings that are invisible to most others (but usually not to them) but find the idea that we might choose to incarnate in human form too much to embrace. Why they would wish to limit their perceptions, understanding and intelligence in this way, we are uncertain. However, we accept that there are certain individuals (quite a few actually) who are not ready to enter the deeper realms of Elfin, or simply to acknowledge that it exists at all.

      The question then becomes: how do you determine who is or isn’t ready for or open to the realization that we elves do exist in physical form. Well, beside the fact that it is simply clear in many cases, there are a large number of people for whom the answer is ambiguous. In order to gauge a person’s reaction to our actual existence as elves in this world, these elves approach this dilemma lightly, often presenting individuals with a sort of test of their own degree of openness, understanding and degree of development in a playful way.

      Sometimes we simply say, when an opening in conversation allows, “We’re elves,” and then see how they react. Often individuals just laugh and we laugh along with them, as though we are kidding. But sometimes someone will say, “Oh, I’m an elf, too,” or “I’m a dwarf,” or “I’m a faerie,” or whatever. Then we know that we have a kindred of some sort who is willing, at least to a certain degree, to play along with us as we dance closer and closer to Elfin, drawing them deeper into the elvish realms.

      At times, we will tell someone our elven names and when they ask what sort of names they are, thinking we might say, Polish or Romanian or whatever, we reply, “Elven.” This, of course, tends to produce the same variety of reactions that directly telling them we are elves, does. 

      Of course, some folks think that we are just kidding. They assume we are cosplayers, or Dungeons and Dragons players or some other sort fantasizing about being elves and we are content to let them believe whatever they will. We elves, particularly we Seelie folk, don’t tend, for the most part, to lie to people unless absolutely necessary to protect ours’elves and our people. We simply let them deceive their own selves. And, honestly, they are quite eager to do so. We could try to tell them the truth but really, they don’t want to know the truth and can’t and won’t accept it, anyway. So why should we bother? We have no real vested interest in them believing we are elves. In that way, we are truly a kind of secret or esoteric society. Only other elves and fae really know and understand that we are elven. And really, that’s probably for the best. 

Fost Tae Lodver (Touch the truth),

The Silver Elves
http://silverelves.angelfire.com

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Through The Mists of Faerie:
A Magical Guide to the Wisdom Teachings of the Ancient Elven

"Elfin, Faerie, Elfland or the Sacred Realm or Dimension of Magic that lives at the heart of the Universe, is an incredibly attractive power. It draws all true souls to it. It calls to the Elfin nature in each and every soul. This is the power that arouses the imagination of those who see or read the Lord of the Rings and say, I’m an Elf or I’m a Dwarf, or even I’m an Orc. The power calls to us through Urban Fantasy stories and the fantasy novels of old, as well as, faery tales and movies of magic and enchantment. But it also calls to us from the trees, the wild places of Nature, and sometimes most of all from magic memories of our childhood, which is really our ancient past, our past incarnations, calling to us. It can also be aroused, and quite strongly, perhaps most strongly, by others of our kind manifesting in the world. There is something magical about these beings and they arouse our own hunger for magic in our own lives and souls. These Elfae radiate starlight. They glimmer with love, kindness and compassion; and they reach out and touch our souls. Some might suppose this to be a glamor, a magic they have wrapped thems’elves within to enchant us; but while they are truly enchanting, the magic arises from the fact that they are genuine and real. They don’t need to glamor us. They just need to be their very own s’elves, for that is the most impressive magic of all. They are not trying, they are simply being: being thems’elves, being elves."
—Excerpt from page 26 of Through The Mists of Faerie by The Silver Elves.


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What Sort of Elf, Faerie or Other Are You? What is Your Magical Tribe? 

For years various kindred have asked us, the Silver Elves, to help them figure this out. Now we've created a questionnaire to help us do so. This is our gift to you. Simply follow the link and the directions here and we will send you your magical narrative designed individually for you.

http://silverelves.angelfire.com/HAelfkin.html

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We invite you to view the table of contents and an excerpt from: The Magical Realms of Elfin: Answers to Questions About Being An Elf and Following the Elven Path 

THE MAGICAL REALMS OF ELFIN: Answers to Questions About Being an Elf and Following the Elven Path by The Silver Elves contains questions and answers about being elven that many people who are exploring the Elven Way have posed to The Silver Elves throughout the 40 + years that they have been living and sharing the Elven Way. The Silver Elves have put them all in this one book for all those who need a convenient, yet thorough and easy-to-read, resource to explore their questions about who the modern elves are and about the Elven Way or elven spiritual path — past, present and future. If you are curious about elves and want to learn more about modern elves and the Elven Path, then you will surely find this book to contain many of your questions answered and it will be a great comfort and help in finding your way home to the Magical Realms of Elfin.

And we invite you to come join us on Facebook in some of our Elven groups where you will find our elven-faerie-fae community interacting and sharing the Elven Way:
 

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Our favorite elven chant in English and
then in Arvyndase, the magical language of The Silver Elves:

If you are interested in Arvyndase, you may wish to visit our website for our book page

Arvyndase (Silverspeech): A Short Course in the Magical Language of the Silver Elves

There you can read about our book and elven language and if you scroll down the page, you will find a link to view a sample of the first three chapters of this book and begin learning Arvyndase while you await your book to come to you in the mail. 

Learn to speak and write elven! THE COMPLETE DICTIONARY OF ARVYNDASE: The Elven Language of The Silver Elves. There's over 30,000 words in the language of Arvyndase and in this dictionary, as Arvyndase is a complete language & may be both written & spoken as such! This dictionary is divided into two parts for easy use, first, English to Arvyndase and second, Arvyndase to English. The pronunciation is provided next to each Arvyndase word. This dictionary makes learning Arvyndase very easy through simple word substitution.

THE COMPLETE DICTIONARY OF ARVYNDASE:
The Elven Language of The Silver Elves

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and on Amazon UK here:
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 Èldata Elsordasli (Elven Blessings)!